Dreams of the Appalachian Trail

I have been reading On The Beaten Path, An Appalachian Pilgrimage by Robert Alden Rubin and it has made quite an impression on me. I tend to dream my most vivd and memorable dreams between 4 and 6 a.m. as Jim and Maggie get out of bed around 4 or so and I have the bed to my self.

The other morning I dreamed that Robert was on a rampage, stomping around and yelling - definitely not in rhyme - the rest of the dream has faded but I remember my concern that even after 2,000 + miles on the Trail, he still didn't know what he was going to do when he got off the Trail.

I haven't seen much about him personally on the internet. Might just have to stop in Harpers Ferry when we pass through this fall.

Revisionist History?

I know that i have misremembered a few things and wonder how I will be remembered by H through the years to come. Did I prevent her from achieving her goals, was I non-supportive. will she cling to the bad episodes and forget any of the good?

I have been noticing how touchy we all are and how easily we misinterpret. A phone conversation with H telling me, don't go out of your way that I take to mean - I know you won't. Shocking to realize these. A simple, yes I know response is misinterpretted to mean - why are you telling me this, I already know this...

College hunting and trying to discuss choices based on what is affordable and being accused of not thinking H is capable of getting a scholarship, won't be accepted-so hard to explain - I didn't mean that - I just meant that, oh forget it.

What should we do about this?

Secret postings

because no one reads my blogs.

I think about doing a lot of things but need a push to actually start. I was thinking the other day that I need to start writing things down - snippets of my past, fleeting thoughts. I am a cypher, written off as uninteresting because of my career, the fact that I didn't grow up around here,whatever. I think I will go to my grave/urn without anyone knowing anything about me.

So as I start to plan writing - do I really have to plan that? - I think which way will be best/easiest/longest lasting

Should I use the computer - the home one is not the best - if I do, I will be dependent on a machine

Should I use a note book? My hand aches at the thought of so much writing

But what if I use a binder and then I can print out and write.

The main thing I have learned about myself is that I can overanalyze to the point that nothing is done